


Differences

by Kr1411



Category: Glee, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Allen Twins, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Henry Allen is a bitch, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 20:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/pseuds/Kr1411
Summary: Barry was always jealous of his brother, but that was no secret. Sebastian was basically everything he aspired to be - Athletic, popular, unafraid to be himself. He just wished his dad would acknowledge the fact he had two sons, instead of one.





	Differences

**Author's Note:**

> I was gong through my old drafts, and I found this one. I decided to post it, since I forgot about it when I finished it. Oops.

Barry was always jealous of his brother, but that was no secret. Sebastian was basically everything he aspired to be - Athletic, popular, unafraid to be himself.

  
Sebastian was always so… _open_ about everything. Barry could think of one time he was scared to talk about something, and that was when he first came out.

Now, he didn’t give a shit about who knew about his sexuality. It was either people cared or they didn’t, it didn’t bother Sebastian.

  
School was the worst, though. Sebastian was the star of the lacrosse team in both middle school and high school, while Barry got to go to all the science fairs, usually winning first place. It didn’t matter.

  
What was worse was the fact that his dad seemed to be _much_ more interested in what Sebastian was doing rather than Barry. When it was between Sebastian’s games, or Barry’s club events, Henry would _always_ go for Sebastian’s things. It _killed_ Barry on the inside. At least his mom went, but he wasn’t sure she actually cared.

  
Sebastian joined a glee club, and Barry thought that that would make Henry want to go to both of their things, even though he knew nothing would change, not really.

  
Barry had only done it once - Self harm, that is. In his whole life, he’s only cut once before. It was the first time he won first place, at a seventh grade state science fair, and he was ecstatic. The only thing was, the same week Sebastian’s lacrosse team had won their tournament, meaning his dad didn’t give a damn about Barry’s win, or that’s what it felt like. His mom would assure him that that wasn’t the case, but Barry had a hard time believing her.

  
Since his first time cutting, it’s been hard fighting the temptations to do it again. The only person who knew about the one time he did was his best friend Iris, and she made him promise he wouldn’t do it again.

  
Barry would find himself sneaking off to the West house so often, you would think he lived there. Her dad didn’t mind, and hell if his parents cared. The only reason he didn’t officially live there was because his family might notice if he didn’t live with them anymore, not that they noticed anyway.

  
When they turned fifteen, Henry would teach Sebastian how to drive, whereas Nora was usually too busy to teach Barry. Barry eventually went to Joe, after the harsh realisation that his dad would never get to teaching him. So, in the end Joe _did_ teach him, making Barry consider him more of a dad then his own dad.

  
It wasn’t until Barry started referring to Henry by his first name did either Sebastian or Henry realised something was wrong. Henry was pissed at the lack of respect, and the fight they had wasn’t pretty.

  
“ _Why should I call you dad? You were never a dad to me!”_

_  
“What do you mean I’m not a dad to you? I raised you, I love you!”_

_  
“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it.”_

_  
“Language, Barry.”_

  
“You know who taught me how to drive? Iris’ dad. Speaking of Iris, you haven’t even notice I spend most of my time at their house. I bet if I killed myself, you wouldn’t notice until my rotting corpse started stinking up the house.”

  
“Barry you know that’s not true.”

  
“I think it is,” and with that Barry stormed out of the room, ignoring the shocked looks from Sebastian, Nora, and Henry as he left.

  
Henry moved to go after him, but before he could, Sebastian stood up. “I’ll talk to him. It’s better that way,” he said, before going up to Barry’s room.

  
When he got there, the door was closed, and he heard muffled sobs on the other side. Sebastian sighed, feeling slightly guilty, before knocking on the door.

“Barry? It’s Sebastian,” he said, and all he got was a, “Go away, Bas,” followed by silence. Sebastian knocked again, this time followed by the click of the lock, meaning Barry really _didn’t_ want to talk, not that Sebastian hasn’t picked up on that before.

  
“Barry, c’mon, don’t do this,” Sebastian pleaded, but Barry didn’t say anything. Sebastian stood there for a second, before reaching up to the top of the doorframe and grabbing the key. He unlocked the door and walked in to find Barry clawing at his wrists, eyes screwed shut with tears flowing out of them. Sebastian walked over to him, and Barry just wrapped himself in his comforter.  
“Go away, Sebastian,” he said, before moving to lay on his side. Sebastian just got on the bed, moving next to Barry. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, and Barry scoffed. “For what? Being the better son? Being perfect? It’s not like I have a choice in who dad likes more,” he said.

  
“Barry, you know he doesn’t play favorites,” Sebastian retorted, and Barry shook his head from his spot under the blanket. “You say that, but I’ve gone to the West’s house for dinner nearly every day this week without telling mom and dad, and all that came out of that is Mom now thinks I’m dating Iris,” he said, sitting up and looking at his twin.

  
Barry looked awful. His face was tear streaked, tears still falling out of his bloodshot eyes. “Barry, what were you doing with your arms?” Sebastian asked. “And do you really think that if you killed yourself we wouldn’t care? Of course we would, you’re our _family_ , Barry,” he said.

  
“No, I’m the twin they didn’t want or expect,” he said, clearly dodging the suicide question.

  
“Barry, you know that’s not true, but you didn’t answer my question,” he said, and Barry shrugged. “I’m not going to kill myself, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he finally said, but that wasn’t enough.

“Barry, you haven’t… hurt yourself, before, have you?” Sebastian asked. Barry didn’t say anything.

  
“Barry, please tell me you haven’t,” Sebastian pleaded, and again, Barry didn’t say anything.

  
“Barry,” Sebastian said, his voice cracking, as tears began to surface.

  
“It was only one time,” Barry finally whispered. “After I won the state science fair, when your team won this one tournament the same weekend. Dad didn’t care about my win, he didn’t even mention it. I felt like I couldn’t feel anything, but I wanted to, so I grabbed the knife out of the kitchen and brought it to the bathroom, not even bothering trying to hide it,” he sighed, “I guess… in a way, I guess I kind of… _wanted_ to get caught, I wanted to know someone cared. For a first time, it was a lot. I guess, when I felt like if I didn’t stop I was going to pass out, was when I stopped myself. The only reason I haven’t done anything since was Iris. She made me promise to call or text her whenever I wanted to hurt myself, or just go to her house to escape it all,” he finally finished, and with that, Sebastian pulled Barry into a hug.

  
“I’m so, so sorry I didn’t notice anything sooner,” Sebastian said, and Barry shook his head. “I only cared about dad noticing. You did nothing but be yourself, and I can’t be upset at you for that,” he said.

  
“You were always the nicer one,” Sebastian said, and Barry softly smiled, not saying anything. “And they love you, you know that. Dad may have a shitty way of showing it, but they do. I’ve heard mom talk to dad about your science fairs, and I know dad probably wishes he could be with you more,” he said, and Barry opened his mouth to protest. Sebastian didn’t stop talking, though. “And I don’t know what I would do without you. Even if they didn’t want you, I _need_ you, you’re my rock. You basically keep me sane. I want your niceness, your purity, the two things everyone loves most about you, Barr. Even mom and dad,” he finished, and Barry leaned into Sebastian, tears starting to flow even faster down his face.

  
“I’ve always envied how you don’t let anyone walk all over you,” Barry said, letting out a wet laugh. “I guess I never thought I had qualities you want. I’m the lesser twin, why do you think I’m the one that gets bullied?” Barry asked, looking down, and Sebastian just buried his face into Barry’s neck.

  
“I never thought of you as the lesser twin, and if Mom and Dad do, than fuck them,” Sebastian said, getting a small laugh out of Barry.

  
“But seriously, if you _ever_ think about suicide, or hurting yourself, please come to me first. I don’t know what I would do without you,” Sebastian said, putting on a serious facade. Barry nodded.

  
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, and Sebastian closed his eyes, shaking his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone does, it’s me, mom and dad for not noticing you’re hurting,” he said solemnly. Barry sighed.

  
“Bas, you won’t tell Mom and Dad about this, right?” Barry asked, and Sebastian sighed, thinking about it. “Not unless it gets worse,” he said, even though he knew it was wrong. Sebastian should be telling them as soon as possible, but he needs his brother’s respect. And telling his parents could end well, or very bad. And honestly, all he cared about was keeping his brother safe. No matter what it took.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so fucking sorry for lack of update on anything. I haven’t actually written much at all since school started, as I’ve started at a new school and I’m trying to get in the rythem of everything. And if they read this, I’m sorry to WolfKomoki and Multi_Fandomweirdo16 for lack of updates on the collabs. Oops.


End file.
